D-filed Escort

We all know TW’s – timewasters never read our sites, they just look at our pics and then call or text with their gloriously ineffectual inane babble. It must be a weird world, theirs. I imagine Kim and Aggie of ‘How Bloody Filthy is Your House’  or summat, knowing them.  Ewww. In my life, the men I’ve met , (lovers or friends) would never stoop to this underclass level of pathetic.

Today, I had a text from one who had actually read a post! TW’s who can actually read, this must be a rare new breed indeed, my flabber was surely gasted.

‘Thanks for the links to other escorts while you were away, they are much sexier than you and much better in bed’

He can spell too, it’s too much, I need smelling salts and a sturdy chair.

I daresay they are, I do know some fabulous ladies and they’re super hot girls, that’s why I especially listed them, darlin’! (scroll past posts for the luscious ladies links)

I said ‘ Well as you’ve never met me or those friends, how would you know? Just found your no on my old fone, listed under TW…haha’

Oh, the stoney silence…I know I shouldn’t answer, but I do so love winning!

Why do they bother? They haven’t done the homework to even nearly get away with it, this is always their downfall. All that ensues is, that they are proven to be stupid, and I get to a wonderful new level of a winning cosy smugness on their behalf.

Not their aim, eh? Hahahahaha. It always amazes me how they think that they will fool me in the thing (this lifestyle) that I have much more personal exp of?

Step into the Dragons’ Den if you want, (ole’ dragon moi,  hehe, raaahr) darlin’ you will never win, you’re only going to be shown up as stupid, so why bother? TW’s please text me, it’s such fun ridiculing your tawdry efforts…

You must be loving this, your very own post! …xxx Dollymopp

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=js8YE7uZFUY

After some faffing about with my fone, decided to get a new one, a new provider and a new number.

So call 07940 474139 in future. The other still works, but I’m phasing it out.

Looking forward to hearing your dulcet tones sometime..hehe.

Also! I have a new Punternet escort review! Thank you very much Y, it was ‘luvlayyy’ to meet you, haha. xxx Dolly

http://www.punternet.com/frs/fr_view.php?recnum=96156 

Well, what the chamber maid saw, actually.

What do you just NOT want to happen in a hotel room?

The maid finding an escort’s vibrator in the bed, that’s what.

Oh but of course, that is exactly what happened!

Just before we left for dinner, I said, ‘Let me clear up before we go, there’s stuff  that needs to be hidden away first..’

He said, ‘Oh the maid will do that, c’mon lets go…’

I quickly scanned the room for the tell tale signs of escort debauchery, but missed this one!

When we got back, I was fannying around in the bathroom, as escort girls do.

Then I heard the peals of laughter, but I thought he was watching TV.

I popped out and said, ‘What’s so funny?’ and he said, ‘This was neatly tucked up in bed, the maid must have found it when she straightened up the room, hahahahaa!’ He was waving a vibrator in the air…!

Oh, Jesus Christ…but it was true. I spent the rest of the time avoiding her, opening the door, looking right and left, then running like the wind down the stairs!

I imagined that the news would spread like wildfire (or my thighs, hahaha) and that every worker would be in on the juicy gossip. I bet they all knew by the next day!

‘Secret Diary of a Callgirl’ series 3, is on ITV2 just now, catch up on ITV player. I have been catching up…because I have a particular attachment there. Wet and Messy…

Ages ago, Tiger Aspect got in touch with me to ask if I could/would take part, ie: give them some fun stuff to include in future episodes. I knew it was from a checked, trusted and genuine source, and that they were not interested in anything other than their programme, so I said yes. To my fun and delight, I keep seeing funny ‘bits of me’ in certain episodes!

The wet and messy sploshing food fight was me, but I didn’t have Belle’s blinding accident!

I do have pics of me with custard, treacle and M and M’s all over my face though…! It doesn’t sting, but it is like looking through tracing paper for a while.

My hair was super soft after though, so a lesson learned, Full Fat Ambrosia Devon Custard is a great hair conditioner!

I did have a full sized custard cream flan shoved down my knickers too haha, (not beans, but I said, how about beans?)

See ‘Secret Diary of a Callgirl’ on ITV2. 

Of course I have a fine rack…excuse me, wine rack!

How super kitschy cool and sexy is this? I have just received this fine red high heeled stiletto wine rack as a gift.  It now has pride of place in my now boudoir style sexy kitsch kitchen. Nigella…move over! Dough/doh!

www.dannyokewineracks.co.uk

Thanks L …for my lovely lunch…and the rest!  xxx Dolly

Another thing…I am again waaay behind on emails, blame the travelling, the evil shoulder etc.

Birmingham Boys, yes I have your mails, Thanks!

I’m now thinking that this Birmingham visit will be late March into early or mid April? I will let you know HERE, asap, and in good time for you to arrange. Wed eve till Fri eve is the plan…?

Nothing to do with anything, but talking of sexy raunchiness  in Brummie hotel rooms…

Fiona Apple is far too thin, but I love this sexxxxxxxxy tune of hers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btb5gOC2xYk

Hello You!

It’s been a while…

A whole week seems an awful long time away from you, though…!

How are you doing?

I didn’t say where I was going, did I?

It was Singapore, and Oh My God, it’s the Hottest Place on Earth…even Singaporean ladies have silver topped umbrellas to shield themselves from the sun, so that should tell you something about how hot it is.

I think anyone would agree too, apart from Icarus.

It was a Birthday Surprise/booking, and as it gets even hotter in April, (my birthday) the ticket was bought and presented to me with a few days notice, so how could I say no? I do say that I can pop off anywhere with a few days notice…? So…and it was Chinese New Year! Year of the Tiger. They know how to party…I wore red, the good luck colour, and my favourite colour anyway.

There’s only one place to stay in Singapore and that’s at…

The Most Famous and Best Hotel in the World.

And believe me, it is.

More than 120 years repute, famed for it’s brilliant history, the rise of, the fall of, the rise again of, the famous cocktail, the famous bar, the famous writers who took up residence , and wrote about their exp there, the A-listers (who continue to flock there, to this day), and the sheer blood, sweat, tears, but most of all, love… put in by all who have worked in service there. To have this place on your CV, must get you a top hotel/hospitality career anywhere in the world. Their service is 100% perfection and exquisitely so, you cannot fault them on anything. And they remember your name after meeting you just once!

I had a personally guided ‘one to one’ historical tour by the resident ‘original’ one day after breakfast. Later, I bought his book about the hotel history, and I am nearly finished that. I can tell you the story too, now. It’s an amazing story to behold, and everyone should learn and know about this historical place. I wonder if a film will ever be made about it…

Due to discretion purposes, staff monitor of google alerts, hotel name and dates…I won’t put keywords here!

But you…can you guess where it is yet? I won’t publish comments with the hotel name though.

It is 100% fabulous though. I’m so happy that I have experienced such luxurious and absolute splendour!

Thanks so very much S! xxx Dolly

P.S. I have much to tell you about Singapore, and one of those is a fruit called Durian, King of Fruits. Check that out, but hold your nose…it stinks! I did eat it, I will eat anything though, including you, haha.

I know it’s too early, but as I’m out of UK on Valentines Day, I thought I’d leave you with a nice pic of Dollymopp and her heart shaped Lollypop. Mmmm!

I’m available for a more intimate style of lollypop lickin’ and lovin’ from 17th Feb.

Am booked for 16-19-20-21-23-26th this far. And 4-5-13th March.

See you sooner or later though, I hope…

I still have a backlog of enquiry emails too, sorry.

Calling me is good, even a text is fine if you can mention your mail addy etc. I’m delighted to be asked to meet, but I still don’t  ‘Cram In’,  even if I know I can do so. You simply just…deserve better.

I’m sure you’ll agree?

This sounds so terribly terribly show offy…oh wow, I’m so pop, elite escort and vip escort blah blah etc…but do remember that I have been fairly absent recently, due to travels/cosmetic dental work/shoulder injury? That’s all!

I think I’m about average pop…not bad for an old tattooed bird? Haha.

Bear with me, to Bare with me! Haha.

P.S. Whilst I’m not here in London, but you are…try checking out my favourite trusted chickadees in London?

I’m not going to endorse just anyone, am I? These ladies are superb, intelligent, articulate companions of note, I know so.

www.josephinedarling.com (Ye Olde Fashioned Busty Strumpet, history enthusiast, with a sexy posh va va voom+++ Nigella factor, FF stockings, a must do…ooer sir etc? )

www.rhiacharles.com (Sleek and gym toned slim curvy blonde in posh Pimlico, with a sharp and honed naughty wit!)

www.londonevie.com (Brainbox blonde, presently at uni, as well as looking/doing/being super hot, in her spare time!) 

www.sophiamardell.co.uk (Ahh, the seductive and sensual woman thing, she’s certainly got it all!  Brains, beauty and… a better bum than mines. Haha!)

www.emily-escort.co.uk ( A funny blog I discovered! Witty and very charming, a  bright young lady who knows her own mind! )

See how nice I am, showing you, sending you off to others? I’d much rather introduce you, and point you in the right directions, than have you all in a flummox?

Hope you’ll visit me too, one day…

xxx Dollymopp

P.P.S. That was a big P.S. wasn’t it?

Sorry for the short notice, but you will be safe from my clutches for 10 days.

Business and pleasure will resume as normal from 17th Feb onwards! xxx Dolly

http://www.punternet.com/frs/fr_view.php?recnum=95624 

He’s a wild one, isn’t he? Very funny, and a delight to be with!

Thanks DD, you daft bugger! xxx D

I had to cancel my little jolly jaunt or ‘escort tour’ to Birmingham because of my shoulder probs, so I think it’s about time that I rectified that?

How about mid March? Would that suit you, Sirs? Please let me know. I said I would make it up to you, didn’t I?

And any other fine gents who would like to meet me in Birmingham, please let me know too! Mid March, dates to be confirmed.

In June, I am going to ‘The Burlesque Hall of Fame’ extravaganza in Las Vegas.

When travelling, I go for art galleries, museums, history, culture etc, and I don’t think that’s what Las Vegas is about?

But, it will be great for an escort photo shoot won’t it? So I should get the sewing machine out, for sure! And because of the show, there will be good photographers available…oooh, the cog wheels are whirring now.  

No, I will not be attempting any Burlesque performances of my own! Well… not in public. Haha.

Last night, I dined out at www.quovadissoho.co.uk  and it was very nice indeed. It’s not a new place, but I had never been there before.

My lovely date ordered calf brains first…erm.

Now, maybe an Einstein or a fresh Marx brain might be a wee bit tasty, given the calibre of content, but a baby cow brain…erm. I’m already a mad cow, haha.

Oh.  Did I just consider eating a human brain there, just for a minute? Aaargh!

The film…  ‘Alive’ …Have you seen that? True story of the plane crash in the Andies? I have the book too. What would you do to stay alive? Not so much cannibalism, but survival? I cried, reading that.

If we are ever flying together, and that ever happened, I give you all permission to survive…There’s plenty of tasty meat on my flanks! And some for pudding, too! Haha.

Actually, I will try almost anything food wise, but I draw the line at some of the stuff I have seen/read of being served.

I will not try the eyes of anything, maggot infested anything, putrified anything, cats, dogs, insects, (have eaten ants in chocolate though) or the still beating hearts of snakes washed down with the blood. I have seen Gordon Ramsay and Antony Bourdain eat such horrors! Their faces were proof enough, not to try it!

Calf brains at Quo Vadis…I thought…there’s no kissing for you then my darling?  Haha.

Well. If you wash it down with the fabulous champagne at www.kettners.com  then I will. Oh, we just did…ahh…ok!

Never been to Kettner’s ( est 1867 ) either, but had a very lovely time there too. They certainly know about champagne. I really should learn more about wines and champagnes. I will do. I’m dying to show off to a luvvie sommelier one day, hey!

I love the wine prog with Oz Clarke trying to educate James Mays’ palate.

I do try you know.

‘Tell me what you smell/taste, James?’ asks Oz, his neck veins bulging inquisitively, despite knowing full well of the rubbish that will ensue.

James says, ‘Well. It tastes sort of…winey?’

‘Mmm, it’s a little short on the middle palate, I do declare..’ says Dolly.

They would then both ask me what I meant, and I would say, ‘I was just told to say that by someone else.’

(I was checking Kettner’s out for photoshoots, as ever. I do that everywhere I go anyway. All places are possible. Not just for me, but for my future lady photo career, and wow ladies, am I finding stuff ? I am, for sure!)

So…did I taste the calf brains? Yes, I certainly did, and very tasty they were too.

Crispy cream, not Krispy Kreme. Donut thank me for that tip…

But do try Quo Vadis Restaurant in Dean Street, Soho. Yummy!

Thanks R! xxx Dollymopp