D-escort blog

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZSLIq6YiRY

See if you can spot my guest appearance in Britney Spears sexy new video ‘Womaniser’.

I am going to be in VENICE on the week of the Venice Carnival Feb 2009.

I will be there for a few days, and if anyone would like to meet for some fun, then get in touch!

I will only see one or two boys, so let me know asap!

That’s me on the island of San Giorgio Maggiore.

A few weeks ago, I was staying overnight with one of my boys at his hotel, and in the morning..well, there simply must be a Morning Ravishment!
So we were getting all passionate, and he was taking the lead, shall we say..and very nice it was too..mmm.
He was getting faster and more urgent and I knew from his face, he was about to….
He let out a big groaning ooohhaahhh!!

And EXACTLY at THAT moment his phone went off, but not a ringing sound, oh no..
Bursting forth from the phone as loud as you like..

The theme tune from the **SUPERMAN films!..DA DA DADA DA DA DA!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPmTFJkmjRg

Hahahhaa, I had to grab a pillow to put over my head because you just can’t be laughing at that moment..! But it was impossible not to, and he couldn’t keep his face straight either, haha!

I said ‘You timed that, you set the phone to go off on purpose!’

But it was his office calling him, for real.
If only they knew what they had interrupted…

Next time I see him, I’m going to wear a cape.

**(of course it wasn’t really superman but something apt for orgasmic announcements. changed to protect the innocent, or not innocent hehe)

 

Sarah Palin, doppelganging the independent London escort sexy secretary mode..I am far too frightened to look at my scalp to see if I have three 6′s there.

She does anal at her discretion..and her asshole is situated right under her nose.

Some of my boys don’t like to go the ‘whole way’ and like to play in other ways..

So! I have been thinking of saucy ways to make this extra toe tingling and come up with..a special option, and new boys are welcome to try it, but of course!

‘The Dollymopp Lick & Lips Teaser’

For shy newbies and other boys who don’t want full on dollymopping!

The attention is all on you..

I am going to kiss and lick you all over very slowly, my tongue exploring all of you, I mean all of you..mmm. Lots of lovely deep kissing, my tongue wandering all over, kissing, licking and sucking all of you..

You let me know of your most erogenous zones, and my tongue and lips will be there, it may be your nipples, the inside of your thigh, behind your neck, your toes, your back, your ears.. let’s see?

I imagine by the time I home in to your central hotspot, (I think we know where that is? ) you will be so teased to distraction, that the climax of this will make you absolutely explode!

A nice slow build up is a fantastic way to build the intensity of a climax, I know it works for me..

Maybe red lipstick, fruity tasty lube, feathers, vibration toys, fur, silky scarves, ice cream, the list of sensations is endless. I can stay scantily clothed if you are shy or in my birthday suit, it’s your choice. You can try it on me too..but I think it’s all about you really.

This new fun thing can be for just 1hr if you wish, I think it would be great for the 1hr morning breakfast meetings, what a way to start the day!

Remember to arrive all scrubbed up nicely now! I know you all do anyways..

(I do only see one boy a day, so there’s no fear for any other boys who may think that there may be ‘dental left overs!’ How very dare you!)

Look what she did to me! I just found this on her blog, I was crying with laughter! I love her and I know she won’t mind that I just stole this pic clean off of her site.

Now I have to tell you all the story of the crazy bus driver..you couldn’t make this up. I have many ‘almost unbelievable’ yarns to tell you, but ‘fact is stranger than fiction’ is most certainly true here.

Once upon a time…

I sometimes do my food shopping in a certain area where there is a bustop right outside, and it stops right outside my house. So lots of heavy bags aren’t such a chore when I can be bussed almost door to door.

So one day I was leaving this supermarket with 3 bags on each arm, and the bus was just in sight..spendid and spiffing!

The bus fare was £1 in London at the time, but I was fishing about with 50p, 20p, 1p’s etc. It added to £1, good. So I got on, it was pretty full, but I had the suitcase section to put my bags in and a seat beside the driver.

”£1 please!” said I.

”Wha’ tha fuck dya expect me ta dae wi’ that?” came the response…A very rough tough male Glasgow accent.

I was faffing around with the bags, not looking at the driver, at this moment.

So, of course with this aggressive retort, I looked up..to see the most incredibly shocking sight.

A full on Lily Savage style drag queen driving the bus. Big blonde bouffant wig, plastered in garish disco make up, false eyelashes, 5 o’clock shadow, hairy arms with home made tattoos, chandelier earrings, tarty pink blouse, I can’t even recall it all, it was all too much, and she/he was screeching abuse at me for my coinage!

I let out a gasp of shock, can you imagine? This was never ever going to remotely pass for a woman, but it was deadly serious, oh yes it was.

Silence..you could cut the atmosphere with a special atmosphere cutter. (got that off Peter Kay, hehe)

Lily starts her tirade at me, and I looked around at the full bus, had they not seen this? Please help me!

Oh no, Londoners go about their business, staring out of the window..

I wanted to get a mirror out of my bag and shove it in Lily’s face and say, ”Have you seen yourself?”

But I was speechless..(not like me eh, haha)

I still tried to ask for my ticket, but to no avail.

So I tried to sit down, but the bus was wavering all over the road, Lily screaming her head off, she grabbed my coins and threw them out of her window, they hit the windows at such speed, I thought they had shattered the panes.

Now, the passengers started to react, many jumping up to ring the bell and shouting to stop, Lily was snaking both sides of the road and then we came to the Elephant and Castle roundabout.. the bus was careering on two wheels now, slanting like a motorbike would. We went around the roundabout 5-6-7 times, it was like the film ‘Speed’ , everyone flung far and beyond, my bags were emptied, beetroot jars and cabbage flying around hitting passengers!

This went on for 15 mins or so, people screaming to stop…Lily shouting at me all along!

‘Sweary Nan a la Catherine Tate’, with a harder edge… I was scared of Lily!

She had our lives in her hands, well.. steering wheel?

We eventually got off the roundabout, and towards London Bridge..100 miles an hr, swerving on both sides of the road, it was like an episode of ’The Streets of San Francisco’ but in London, haha.

Now I was thinking..if we can’t stop Lily asap, we are going to end up dead in the Thames, toppling over the edge of London Bridge?

But we got to London Bridge, the stop on the Bridge, and she stopped and jumped out of the bus, and ran screaming down the road..

Phew…

I took the reg of the bus and called TFL and told them the whole crazy story..they could hardly believe it, and neither can I, still. But I was there!

I got a letter 2wks later saying Lily was in the hospital under sedation.

She was obviously upset, but I like the fact that TFL had accepted someone out of the mainstream appearance as an employee. It wasn’t working though, and other issues were obviously evident.

I hope she’s ok now.

I never did find that jar of beetroot, nor the cabbage.

www.stellacaine.com

 

 

 

Recognise anyone? This photo on the right is a stylised version of the German artist Otto Dix’ painting of ‘Three Wenches’ (1926).

That’s me in the front with the big red wig on, naked, with a bodypainted corset, bodypainted stockings, and red lipstick nipples!

The painting is of three ladies of the night, and when I was asked to ‘model’ for it, I really couldn’t tell the team just how appropriate their casting was of  ‘one particular model’ …hehe.

Now, for something else art related, but nothing to do with me..when I was searching for an example of that above painting, I happened upon this quip from the art and design section of the New York Times, circa 2005..

“There was “Ranting Mop Head” (1995), another bipartite piece with an upright mop on one side and a player-piano-type machine that produces a synthetic voice on the other. When activated, the mop seems to shout gibberish that sounds like real words.”

(They may call it gibberish, but I call it a Scottish accent.)

Wow, aren’t I popular this week! A new review on Punternet www.punternet.com

Thank you very much, kind gentleman!

Right, that’s enough of me ‘showing off’ now…

I have a new review on www.captain69.co.uk and quite saucy it is too!