D-escort blog

I didn’t go mad, I’m too old for partying now..

On my actual birthday, it was raining and miserable, so I went mad in a photography shop instead! Oh the weather was much ‘sunnier’ in there, haha.

Bought lights, background support and a tripod. They didn’t have the background frame, but over the road did…

I am great to go shopping with, I don’t faff much, I just know what I want, and then go to the places that sell it.

Now for the new camera! That’s a bit different..I have been gleaning info from far and wide, before the purchase.

And ..am also going to have to get myself on a  ‘how to switch it on’  type of  college course. This is proving difficult because I don’t need the creative side, just the tech side. Most courses I see, are repeating what I already have 10yrs exp in! I also taught ‘behind the camera’ for 7yrs. I could spot an eyelash out of place at 100 paces.

It’s incredibly frustrating to have worked behind a camera for 10yrs, and to have never snapped the actual photo that graces my portfolio. I never go near the camera, apart from checking what the shot looks like.

All that stands between me and photos at the moment, is my lack of camera techy knowledge!

I’m going to learn, I have to.

Got quite a few cards and pressies! Thanks to y’all! xxx 

Was up early the next day, a sunny Sat morning, and had a lovely stroll along the river. Went to the Tate with a good pal, and he took some photos of me along the riverside. Like my tattoo design cardigan?

Photo crit here.. my hand looks like a weird small paw, so I should have moved that to the side a bit. And of course the lighting/shadow. Cranes to the right, could have done without them, but they are out of focus, so not too much bother. Slight crumple in clothes too, blame the boobs, haha. The slight hair whisps are ok, shows wind, not bad composition, not too distracting. I would have taken out the ones on top though.

See, I have the eye. I fix things when I’m the viewer.

I like it though! This is me, and what I look like with nothing fixed.

Went to Roast in the early evening, www.roast-restaurant.com for dinner with 3 pals, then to a local pub for a drink. I was too tired after all this food, strolling, photos and shopping, and was fast asleep by 11pm!

Sunday, we went to the very trendy and arty Spitalfields market, www.visitspitalfields.com and had a nice delicious Sunday lunch at Canteen www.canteen.co.uk and a wander along the north side of the river for even more photos.

By that evening, I decided that my birthday had been a fabulous success!

A cheeky young man sent me a card with a badge to remind me of how old I am too!

The lovely Rhia Charles is back in the fold….she was obviously missing us too much!

If you haven’t met Rhia, then you are in for a real treat, gentlemen…..

Get yourself down to Plymouth if you know what’s good for you!

Rhia travels a bit too, so see her updates for that.

I have met Rhia, and she is a very lovely lady, very attractive, very articulate, and yes…those traffic stopping luscious curves are all her God given own! (Envious..moi? Hell..yeah!)

She has a brilliant site that is very easy to navigate, superbly enticing  photos, and a fun, informative, well written blog too..what more could you want!…..Yeah yeah.. well.. you will have to meet her for that..Ahem!

Her site and writing there, gives a great deal of information to a prospective paramour, and I know you will enjoy browsing…I always check on Rhia’s blog, she is funny, eloquent, very entertaining, and just simply..damn good fun!

She has splendid reviews too, go searching on PunterNet.

You trust my judgement..right? So what are you waiting for?

Miss Rhia Charles is residing at www.rhiacharles.co.uk

Falling down, falling down..oh sorry, wrong bridge.

Been very busy with various stuff/things, but will catch up soon!

Here is a photo from this weekend, it was my birthday too.

Tell you more, later! xxx

I have had a wee photoshoot at my house. Me taking the photos, I might add.

As you know, my place is small, but we managed to do a few angles with homemade lighting!

Cute huh? I won’t divulge the lady in question..till she wants me to!

Ok, David Bailey isn’t retiring yet…but if my first properly arranged *indoor shoot* looks like this, imagine how cool I’m going to be in a few years time! He had about 4 competitors in the 60′s, and when I graduated from art college, 36,000 photographers were clamouring for work. That was just London, alone.

*did ones of Eleanor, but with no lights, did ones of Stella ages ago, no lights, and used their cameras *

He had it good…

I met Bailey twice, he was funny/really rude to me the first time, (arty work) and the second time, I met him in the Strand, in a bookshop, with his wife. He didn’t even remember me..! (think I’m safe for the blog then, eh)

I rate him though, fantastic portraiture. That is why he doesn’t do food, cars or other static products.

My favourite photographers..and why, is another post.

To photograph/document an important moment in time/history.. is like collecting a piece of their soul. Some cultures feel that too.

A massive regret of mines is that between 15-25 yrs, (a great transitional time for anyone) I have no photographs.

I was a bit more of a peacock (not a pea hen!) than now, and I so wish that I had photos..

I will be too old to Dollymopp one day..and photography is one of my interests for the future.

As I will have been a lady with some years of ..(hopeful?) repute, I hope that the 36,000 newbies will be chasing other areas of photography. They won’t have the contacts in certain areas, and I will.

I said that I will discuss the photographers and artists later.. I will.

But here’s a little clue, I like many styles and genres, Pierre Molinier, Man Ray, Helmut Newton for starters (they would have had great conversations, methinks)…and Joel Peter Witkin if you are really really brave! Google them.

One of my most favourite photos in the whole world is, Joel Peter Witkins’  ‘Glassman’ (Mexico)

I won’t post it here..it would make my pics look so lame!

You will find it. I think it’s so very powerfully beautiful and majestic.

You are going to think that I am very strange…!

There I was,  just innocently perusing the supermarket shelves, when…I…was faced with this..this..Food Porn?

Beanz means/meant Heinz when ah wer’t lass, and now..I may be gobbling ‘Red Hot Balls’ and ‘Big Saucy Bangers’ (see them hiding in the background) betwixt flicking my beloved saucy bean..

Phew…!

Heinz have obviously ‘bean’ looking for an imaginative copywriter..and found one.

I used to do a bit of pro-copywriting myself, but I reckon my wordsmithery is better used for my own procurement these days!

What have rabbits and chickens got to do with Easter?

Must be something to do with Spring? Spring chicken? (I must be a Winter chicken, 3 seasons later, a bit mangy and well basted.. hmm? haha)

We know the significance of the Easter egg, the stone rolling away from JC’s cave, but I like this eggy story, an analytical explanation of the rhyme ‘Humpty Dumpty’, by Ricky Gervais.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hYytaZ06Hco

I hope you all have a nice Easter Holiday Weekend too!

*Sweeps hair back dramatically, in a ‘I Can Make Professional Real Chocolate’  fashion*

I did go to the Chocolate Festival, and I sat and listened to the ‘Choco-Teacher’ lectures, and am going to make proper chocolate.

Properly. With several ingredients (raw cacao butter, raw cacao grounds, agave syrup and vanilla pod) and some dirty secrets added by me..sshh I will tell later.

In Italy, I once bought some choc infused with white truffle oil, truffles with truffle, if you will.

Chocolate truffles are named so, because of their similar appearance to fungi truffles. Very tasty!

I love fresh bespoke bread with syrup thick balsamic, and truffle oil to dip and gorge on. Mmmm..

I am so very spoiled, having Borough Market as my next door deli! www.boroughmarket.org.uk

So beware.. I will be experimenting in the ‘Dollychoc Experience’. Maybe garlic? I will test it out for sure..

I have the ingredients, now.. let me and my imagination run loose..

Poor kitchen will soon be smeared in the ‘Food of the Gods’ and me too!

Wanna lick my bowl?

Sorry, you’re too late, it’s mines already..slurp!

Have been investigating the most prestigious award winning Chocolatiers of the world, and am citing Italian family brand Amedei, William Harcourt-Cooze, and William Curley as my choco-heroes thus far. This is all handmade chocolate, and what they don’t know about the art and history, isn’t worth knowing. You haven’t tasted chocolate, till you have tasted theirs. And..I discovered that William Curley is practically from my hometown!

Ahh.. a Scottish Chocolatier.. His Chocolaterie/Patisserie is in Richmond, Surrey.  www.williamcurley.com 

William has been voted the best Chocolatier by www.academyofchocolate.org.uk   3yrs in a row.

Well known chef, Michel Roux is their patron.

Also try www.seventypercent.com for real chocolate.

William Harcourt-Cooze is soon to be seen on TV,  making 100% cacao solids chocolate, ‘Willy’s Chocolate Revolution’ It was on tonight, so check the ‘catch up TV’ if you want to see. I expect next Tuesday at 9pm will be the next time.

I knew some stuff about chocolate, but the lecture was informative, and we tasted chocolate originating from Papua New Guinea, Equador, Ghana, Nicaragua and Venezuela. Do Wiki and other pages on History of Chocolate, see how this came to be.

Venezuela is the most highly regarded in the world, for the best raw ingredients for real chocolate today.

REAL chocolate isn’t bad for you, but the cheaper stuff, with hydrogenated vegetable fat and E numbers is…sorry Flake! Good marketing though…and I will buy it too, and eat it in the bath..!

Oh.. I see it now, the cogwheels are whirring ..casting my bodyparts for fun..maybe yours too…

I see other chocolate ventures too, but I’m not telling yet. Ssshhh.

Lets just say, Orgasmic Chocolate, may be the title.

The sheer amount of lingerie in my very small flat is just ridiculous. I have 2 boobs, one ladygarden, and one bum, (last time I looked).

But I have been brave..the task isn’t yet over, but is well under way..

What a task! 8 drawers, 6 crates, 2 wardrobes, slide out racks..this is all my clothes, and it covers 20ft by 8ft of one wall!

Vintage and modern versions of bras, panties, knickers, all in one body things, suspender belts, corsets, waspies, hold ups, stockings, ff silk stockings, tights (yes, I have tights..but Wolford and La Perla tights are allowed!) camisoles, french knickers, oh the list goes on and on…and on.

For someone who doesn’t like shopping, I have no idea how it got to this.. Horrorshow! Aarrgh..it burns it burns..

I emptied the whole lot out onto the floor, and just clutched my face at the sight.

How could one woman have so much underwear?

I was getting to the point where I was going to enlist a helper to sort it all out! The Pants Doctor? Is there such a thing?

I think someone is coming in here and filling up the drawers when I’m not looking. Yes, that’s what’s happening.

So.. I set to, all bras and matching knickers first, then B and K sets with suspender belts, then B and K vintage sets, then B and K sets with suspender belts, then body things, then corsets (13!) , then the worst job of all…the stockings, the stockings, oh for Gods sake..that is another blogpost of it’s own!

I seem to have acquired another leg, as there are an awful lot of 3 matching stockings. Ok, Ok, that’s a spare..they ALL MUST be checked for drags too..watching paint drying is more exciting than this, but it simply MUST be endured.

8hrs later, still at it, the pile is the same size. I have lost the will to live…or get dressed ever again. I will just be naked for your arrival.

Because..because..because, like a lot of women…..

‘I haven’t got anything to wear!’

If I was going to write a book..what should I call it?

Sort of borrowed/stole Russell Brands title for now!

Fashioned myself a hypothetical cover, as you can see.

YOU would all be SAFE if I did…! And I would be anonymous anyway..

www.londonist.com/2009/03/preview_londons_first_chocolate_fes.php 

This weekend, 3-5th April, London is hosting it’s very first Chocolate Festival, all along the Southbank in London. Waterloo train/tube if you decide to go.

A stones (chocolate bar) throw away from me, how could I not go?

If you are there too…I will be the one with chocolate all over her face, and taller than the kids.

Chocolate contains phenylalamine, a neuro transmitter that produces serotonin and dopamines in the brain.

 Sex also produces these….

And did you also know that chocolate starts to melt at precisely 37 degrees.. our natural body temperature..?

Of course, chocolate starts to bubble and boil like hot springs when I’m around, haha.

Here is a pic one of my sexy chocolate gifts.. Thanks B! xxx

Which bit will I lick first though?